One of the saddest situations in marriage is to have a married couple who is unequally yoked. My initial thoughts of the woman, Darla, was that she was an excellent wife. Her alcoholic husband was verbally abusive and demeaning. My heart was moved with the stories of what she had endured. Yet, for the sake of the children she wanted to see God move. Her commitment was admirable. She prayed for him because of her commitment to God and her commitment to the man that he was when he was not inebriated or on drugs.

My parents have always said that a marriage takes two but I could see no flaw in the woman until she called me one day and said the Lord was dealing with her about what she needed to do for the marriage. She had forgotten but the Lord reminded her of the day they were married. She was angry at the minister for the vows she felt forced to say. In addition, she decided to rebel and keep her own name. This decision hurt her husband. She and I were both pretty wide eyed about the fact that God not only loved her but loved her husband as well. She had participated in wounding her marriage from the very beginning.

One day I was praying for her when I heard the Lord tell me to ask her to inquire with Him about any other area where she had hurt her husband.  I was a bit miffed. She had already addressed the marriage day issue and I could not imagine her being privy to anything else. (Even though I know better than thinking I know everything, sometimes I need to be reminded.) I asked, “Lord, why does she have to be the one who is repenting and forgiving all the time? He does nothing to start toward healing this marriage or getting right with you?”

It was at this moment that He showed me a huge knot. It had been tied over and over again until it was a tight knotty mess! He then asked me, “If you were to untie this knot, where would you start?”

I was a bit stunned, so He asked, “Would you start at the bottom just because you wanted to?”

He was right. When something is in tight knots, you cannot just start where you want, you have to start where it is the loosest…where it’s easiest to unravel.

What a beautiful rope knot analogy! God was not punishing her and leaving the man alone. She was the most tender and obedient to the Lord. She was the one who could hear Him and then as she allowed Him to work in her life, God would work on untying what a long line of mistakes and offences had done to their marriage.

The next time we spoke, I told her what God had said. She was not offended but simply said, He has already been dealing with me. He is showing me where I have wounded my husband and I have asked for insight on how I could fix it.

Since that time, I have watched her speed off into an acceleration of intimacy with God. He has healed her of the wounds of rejection and embarrassment. She is still contending for her marriage and learning to love him as Jesus has loved her.